The in beTween- Navigating growing pains

If there is something I wasn’t prepared for as a mom of a daughter, it definitely was ALL the feelings and growing pains, both physically and emotionally that come along with age.

I want to be clear, I did get my sweet girls express permission to write in these matters. I feel as if other people may relate and that it might help someone else. It feels worth sharing.

Lillian has always been able to tell me what she was feeling and what she needed. I still feel like she has a firm grasp on who she is becoming, but it hasn’t come without hiccups. She’s type A in school, feels pressure to be perfect with disorganized tendencies (thanks to me, I’m sure). This year, she’s experiencing growth in dance, more injuries than she’s had ( all minor, yet very valid and frustrating) and she’s trying to learn the difference between what she can dance through and what she needs to sit out and heal from. Along with all of this, she’s been navigating strong reactions and feelings to circumstances that she can’t control and trying to figure out WHAT IN THE WORLD to do with those feelings! It’s growing her in big ways and it is also making me grow as a parent.

Here’s what we are learning:

She is learning to talk about these feelings, to HONOR the feeling and then let it go. She is learning that some things just happen but that they do not define her or her value and worth in this world.

I am learning that we have to slow down, process these feelings and I need to be there for her when she’s ready to talk. Sometimes it’s not talking. Sometimes it’s sitting with her, painting nails, doing face masks or other self care things that make her FEEL good about herself.

There really isn’t one right way to figure out the in between. I can tell you though, being open and offering your time and your ears is priceless. Validate those feelings , I kind of can’t help it, I can feel her when she’s sad- it’s the empath in me or maybe the momma heart. Be silly with her! And give both you and her much GRACE.

I didn’t know this new age was going to be so emotional and much like a rollercoaster, but momma, put those hands up and get ready for a fun ride. It’s truly a fun journey.

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